In a bold move today, Prime Minister Harper announced that he would personally restore the "hot air imbalance" in the country, thus providing the provinces with a new source of renewable energy.
To achieve this ambitious goal, the PM has banned Parliament Hill press conferences and will himself travel around the country taking questions from local reporters.
The PM said that this is only the beginning of his "made-in-Canada" plan to cut greenhouse gas emissions. "Actions speak lounder than words, unless those words come from the federal government", he said. While admitting that the provinces will probably be upset over the recently announced cuts in funding for their Kyoto programs, he said that the new "hot air transfers" will more than make up the difference.
"Charest may have his hydro-electric power, but I have the full force of the Conservative caucus and the Bloc Quebequois behind me."
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In other news, the U.S. military is financing research on making the Global Warming invisible, starting with the Oil Industry. Impossible, you say? Check this out:
"Theoretical blueprint for invisibility cloak reported"
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2006-05/du-tbf052406.php
Curiously, here's one of the first applications of this technology, taken from the above Press Release:
"For example, you may wish to put a cloak over the refinery that is blocking your view of the bay."
If you can cloak one refinery, why not cloak them all? You could also cloak two-thirds of each Hummer to make it look like they are compact cars. Cloak the melted parts of glaciers, so that all you see would be the parts that still have ice. And just for fun, cloak the salaries, pensions and other perks of Big Oil chiefs like Lee Raymond, former Chair of ExxonMobil (see e.g. http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=1841989&page=1).
;-)
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